maybe someone will read this and offer some fabulous insight that will relieve me from my troubles! (anyone....anyone...)
but anyway...
i have started to notice in the last year or so, so much tragedy. so much sadness. i think i used to just think old people were the only ones who died. sickness was something you could ALWAYS cure by going to the doctor. hospitals were for old people and women having healthy beautiful babies. divorce only happened to celebrities and lazy people who didn't want to work for it.
i guess i woke up.
hard things happen to really good people.
sickness and death can come at anytime during life.
anger and hurt can come from the people we trust and love most.
i guess i want to go back to sleep. i am scared to live in a world where life IS fragile. i am not invincible. no one is.
all we have is faith. which i guess i lack. because what i really want are answers. i want to know why our Father in Heaven needed a brand new mom with 4 month old baby? why did He need a new dad with a 10 day old baby and a loving 23 year old wife? why would He not give a baby girl a healthy heart? why would He let people fall in love when He knows one will hurt the other? why would He allow the same family to suffer hard trials back to back? why would He allow a little girls life to end way too early?
and i guess the weirdest question for me, why do I hurt so bad for people I barely know? why do I cry so hard for people I haven't met?
last year in general conference someone said something about how women feel compassion and it is part of their divine nature...making us "divine"- making us God-like. I wish i could find that quote so I didn't feel like a crazy person!
truthfully i know my Father in Heaven loves me. He has blessed me and He has given my trials. through both my blessings and my trials I turn to Him. He has given me a husband who loves me (even when i am crazy) and a beautiful baby that He trusts me to teach and guide. he has given me friends who are supportive and closer than family. and a family who is constant and loving. my heart breaks for those who have trials without the knowledge of the gospel. because even with all the blessings i have the greatest knowledge i have is that i have a Savior who loves me. who died for me. and through Him i can be with my loved ones forever. this life is hard but eternity is worth it.
so you be the judge- to heavy for blog-talk?
